just thinking

...just thinking that it's been a bit since i've last updated my blog. i've been meaning to this past week...but my mind and heart is full and so when i start to think i'm just a bit overwhelmed and wonder how i can really put it all on paper; especially so that's it's short and not a whole book! but right now i'm just down loading some pictures of laszlo to send to my dad for his birthday tomorrow. we made and mailed a card to him last week, running almost the whole way to the post office to make sure we got there before it closed! laszlo was so excited and just kept saying - 'run courtney! faster! we need to get to get to the posta! fast!' i also need to burn a few more pictures onto a cd for my dear friend and her family that are leaving in just a few days. so then thinking of her, i feel sadness in my heart as i think of saying goodbye - again. i know life is full of comings and goings, but the thought of saying goodbye is not a pleasant thought. i've said goodbye alot these past few years that i've been over here in romania. mostly to family, but also to friends. i hate goodbyes. i used to think they'd get a bit easier, but they don't, ever! but, in spite of all that, i'm also so excited for this lovely family and the next part of their lives that are about to begin! and then thinking (once again) of them, i think of the journey they've been on and the one i'm one and the one we will be on till the end. i think of the amazing lessons we've all been taught, especially these past few years in romania. there has been lovely and wonderful times shared with each other as friends and fellow workers. there has been many children that we have fallen in love with and cared for and watched grow up and some that have left to families. but we have also seen and felt pain and hurt. when you feel and let your heart love, that is what happens. but the lord has provided and brought comfort and help and love and precious babies in the midst of all that. he has created strong friendships and allowed us to be apart of each others lives on a daily basis. we have seen him work and i, at least for me, can say that it's wonderful to be apart as well as watch closely as the lord moves and works. tonight i feel overwhelmed as i think about all the lord has done for us and our friends and our kids! my heart is just in awe of him. he is good. he is blessing. he is my portion. he is my provider - the faithful one and the one i can trust. he is the greatest teacher, using his word and his people he created to be apart of that. life! so then, i guess i can say my life is full, my heart is overfull and my thoughts are as well. he knows me well and so i come as i am before him in thanks and also to lay my heart before him. i can't bare all this on my own. i don't think i'm meant to. i wonder, can i make it though the next few days as goodbyes happen again? and i'm thinking, how does sadness and joy mix? and hope? cause i feel both right now. and can i make it through the holidays with out family from home? i have before but can i this year? and what about all that is to be with sweet laszlo? i want to say i don't think so; but i know that's not true...because i have before and i know that he is faithful! maybe the title of this entry should be 'thoughts and feelings'. these are my thoughts, at this moment; tonight.

sunrise; sunset.

"FROM THE RISING OF THE SUN, TILL THE GOING DOWN OF THE SAME; THE NAME OF THE LORD SHALL BE PRAISED!"


His FAITHFULNESS is shown daily in the rising and setting of the sun. Day & Night come every day. The sun rises and brings light to the day; it sets and the moon comes up and the stars come out to lighten up the dark night. Great is His Faithfulness!

sunrise; sunset.

Autumn Recipies...

Well, autumn has come to Romania and although it's been cold the past few mornings, the sun has come out and the afternoons warm up a bit and are beautiful! The leaves are falling and are many colors. The temperature is dropping and it's cool and crisp outside. We have pumpkins this year at the market (white ones...one the outside but orange on the inside. And, you can buy them by the slice! I mean why not? Anything goes here.) So now it's that time of year to grab a book and curl up in a cozy blanket, put on the kettle and light some candles! But then if your on your way out, make sure you grab a fun scarf and wrap it around you! Enjoy the colors of fall, walk through the leaves, eat a yummy red or green apple, and then head back inside for some autumn baking!
Here are a few recipe's I've made and have enjoyed the last few weeks! Happy Fall!


*Pumpkin Apple Butter:
1 Can (15 oz) pumpkin Or cooked pumpkin, skinned.
1 Med. apple, peeled & grated
1 C. apple juice
1/2 C. packed brown sugar
3/4 tea. pumpkin pie spice

Combine all ingredients in a medium sauce pan.
Bring to a boil; then reduce heat to Low.
Cook, stirring occasionally for 1 to 1 1/2 hours.
Serve with "Drop Biscuits", buttermilk biscuits, breads, corn muffins, or hot cereals.
Refrigerate for up to 2 months

*Drop Biscuits:
1 C. warm water
3 Tlbs. oil
Mix in small bowl.
2 C. flour (white, wheat, spelt)
1 1/2 Tlbs. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
Mix with fork, then add oil and water mixing quickly with fork. Drop in mounds on baking sheet. Bake at 425 F. or 215 C. for 12 minutes. Makes about 10 to 14 depending on size.
[make only the amount of batter that you can cook right away, if more is needed, make up a new batch when the oven if free again.]

*Autumn Green Apple Salad
1/4 C. olive oil
2 Tlbs. Red wine vinegar (or I used apple vinegar)
1/2 shallot, finely chopped (optional)
salt and pepper to taste
celery (or cucumber)
2 apples, unpeeled, thinly sliced
lettuce
1/3 C. pumpkin seeds, toasted.

Mix oil and vinegar in jar and add before serving. Toss the rest together in a bowl.

Amazed!

Yahweh -
> was, ... of the one who IS, the existing.<

Yahweh; God; the Lord. He IS - now! Present!

As I looked this up today I was in awe of Him and the realization that He is active and here at this moment! He IS!!!
He is on the move, or rather moving now. He will not forget; He remembers. He is the ONE who was, and is, and is to come!

And, He is the Provider! Why do I worry? He is the Faithful One. I know this, and I think I believe it, and yet still I doubt. So let me just tell you a little story from this morning that made me once again amazed: I've been needing to buy credit for my phone the past few days but have kept putting it off due to money. So this morning about 9 I get a text message and it's from the company I buy credit with, and it says I've received bonus credit for being with them another year! Praise and Thank you to Jesus! I was so happy and my spirit just knew, once again, that I don't need to worry about Anything! I will be taken care off... ALL my needs! He know every part of me and everything I need. What a wonderful Savior is He!
Wow! Still sitting here amazed!

...he remembers...

trust. how hard is this? haven't i already learned this? i guess this is a life long lesson and something that will always be there to choose and use in every situation. it's a hard thing, especially when all seems against you and the ones you love and care for. why? when will the favor of the Lord come? will i see it...soon? will there be a glimpse of His kingdom on earth? or is he already at work, behind what we see with our human eyes? is he still in preparations or is he waiting for us to ask and seek and believe and trust? faith, trust ... waiting... it's not easy and i'm not so good at it; but when i do see the Lord at work, in only his ways and his timing and when it's the least expected - it's amazing and my heart gets excited about what's next. i know there is more and this is not the end. i know he's bigger and more powerful then anything or anyone else that exists. he is King and rules all! he knows us, each hair on our head and the words before they are on our tongue. he wants to show himself - to us and show who he is. he also wants to engage us. so (let us) i will wait (or want to wait but sometimes can't, or feel i can't) in expectation on his next move and mine with him. and we must pray! pray for things to move and peoples hearts to soften. we must be faithful and listen so we can hear what he is saying and where he is moving and so his power can come forth...call it! pray for favor for our children (the children of romania!) we need his favor; it's time for favor to be shown. let us trust, together. who can be against us if he is for us? who? if no one then why do we fear, or what do we fear and why do we doubt and forget all the times he's gone before us and his hand of favor and movement has been seen? trust. wait. pray. expect. join. and stand in awe!

to market, to market to buy a....

since i love market days so much, i thought i would once again share this lovely 'morning of market' with you through pictures. so enjoy:

bed time 2..

...just forgot to add a bit of bedtime at work...the night goes like this (well on saturday)... bath time, p.j.s, teeth brushing, and toilet time! then in to bed for our crazy time of trying to keep 6 little ones semi-still for songs and prayer. and the song rotation goes: this little light of mine, he's got the whole world in his hands (and don't worry, it does include all the kids in the room plus me as well as snakes, bees, monkeys, owls, turkeys, horses, dogs, cats, ducks, etc...), away in the manger, and a nice melody of Alleluia with the smallest child sitting right next to me, eyes closed and hands folded... how precious is that? then prayers all around thanking God for the food, the walk, the park, the moon and stars, and for each one in the room. prayers for mom's and dads and praise to God who is Big and Good!!

bed time

i was going to write the other night about this because it was just so cute and made me laugh. but, since it's been a few days and tonight is a new one, i will add just a bit about bed time (both here at the orphanage i work at) and my walk home with a 5 year old....
so first and tonight and last night... it was nap time first, then bed time, and Laz started with the usual question of wearing a 'dress' to sleep in. now that might seem weird, but i have some big t-shirts that i let him wear for bed since it's been so hot and i just have winder p.j.s at my place. now the other day he did say the big t-shirts, but usually - i want to wear the dress, and by that he means either the green or blue david crowder shirts!!! (good choice i say!) then one day, i brought a little girl home for a nap and to play with us in the afternoon and for nap time, even thought it was super hot - they both were so excited to wear the 'dresses' to bed... but she had a brown one and so i think Laz thinks it's hers and won't wear it - except tonight because the others had been washed and hung out to dry! bedtime is not the only time he wants to wear them, when the little girls talk of wearing them (and they do love that) he wants to too! i really think he just wants to dress up nice too, cause when i pull out a nice button up shirt he just smiles!
now on to a very different subject and yet it still has to do with nighttime... as Laz and i were walking home from work at the orphange, he first was looking up at the starts and then asking were the moon was, but then the questions turned into this: where is santa (mosu)? where does he stay? what are his shoes like? his socks? what does he eat? when does he come? is he sleeping? and what to say to all that??? i don't know! and then i started with he doesn't exist but Jesus does, that is true! but there was a man once name saint nick...he died (said Laz)?
so it was just a funny night and i thought i would share it! noapte buna!

reminder...

during our worship meeting tonight, I was just reminded through a very random story in the bible, that God uses the 'foolish things for the world to shame the wise'. He works in ways we would not and with those we would not choose or in areas of weakness. that way He receives the Glory and we don't and all know it is Him, His work and Him on the move! it just amazes me and makes me smile. it's wonderful to know that the imperfect is used and the simple are chosen. we often feel unfit, or disqualified... but the ones ' less than' or 'not quite up to par', they are maybe the more humble and willing to be used or maybe they are the ones that let the Lord in because they have nothing else, He is their ALL! 'we are weak but He is strong'. He will rise up the lowly and they will be great! 'the first shall be last, and the last shall be first'.and the greatest thing ever is this: 'He calls things that are not, as though they were'! Amin and Amin!!!

kids...why they were created...

...for laughter...

...cuteness....
...funness...
....their love for the simple things in life...
....swinging...
....smallness...
...just because...
...faces...
...and pure hearts.

They were given to us by the Lord to teach and train up in Him, but also as an example for us as to how we are to be... as children....trusting, innocent, full of smiles, real tears (not fake or non), simplicity, hope; full of life and joy! The Lord says this of them "...Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." matt. 19:14

truth

it is for freedom that Christ has set us free!!!!
and he came that we might have LIFE! and have it
to the full... abundantly!
is this the life we live? why are we always struggling with
how we ought to live and continually falling into
old ways? we have new life with Jesus and we are
new creations!
"how great is the love the Father has lavished -[given, or bestowed]- on us,"
if this be true, then why do we often live in guilt,
regret, and condemnation? do we not know or believe
that there is non of that for those of us that are in him?
"our sins have been forgiven on account -[value, paid] of his name!"
we are overcomers, conquerors in him; victorious!
in 1 John it also says:
"I write to you young men,
because you are strong, and the word of God lives in you,
and you have overcome the evil one."
so then, let us live in this freedom and new life that we have been giving...
forgetting what is behind us and pressing forward towards what lies ahead.
joy should be our strength, life and blessings in our words;
gentleness and patience as our mannerisms.
let you eyes be open to behold his beauty - in creation and children; in all things!
let our time be used wisely and the simple, little moments be
cherished and not passed by in our busy lives and constant desire for the next thing.
let contentment fill our heart;
for he has given us everything we need in life and for life.
i have been blessed more then i thought. he is enough.
stand in awe! his grace is enough.
from the rising of the sun until it's going down, let his name be praised!

Friday - Market Day!

Friday's are always quite busy here in town as it is Market day. I love market day and although we (my roommate, Laszlo, and another little guy - Kiki) got there a bit late, there was plenty there to look at and buy. Some of my favorite things about market day are all the people there selling their wares. Some of the Fruit and Vegi ladies I've gone to a lot are always sweet when I come again, but I like to look around to and buy from those selling just a little from their own gardens. This is part of their lively hood and that every little bit counts. Last week I bought apricots from a lady who was only selling 4 or 5 bags each weighing 1 kilo and super cheap. This week it was just picked small red apples and zucchini from one lady, peaches from another, blackberries from a third, flip flops for the boys, and some brightly colored flowers! The flowers, the ones sold at the market or the ones sold across the street from my old apt. by the 'flower ladies' as I refer to them as, are also a main reason to head to the market on a Friday morning! Every kitchen table needs some freshly cut flowers on it giving beauty and color. Another bit about the market is the 'apron lady'. She makes a few in the morning and then brings them to sell. Some are made from new fabric, some from old, but all are quite fun and random with it's color coordination's. Today my friend bought one for her granny and when my family was here last month, I bought a green with color polk-a-dots! Can't go wrong with that I say. Everything in the kitchen will turn out right with the proper apron!
So, that's the Market update! Stalls full of goat, cow, and sheep cheese, cucumbers, tomatoes, peaches, plums (anything in season right now), a bit of corn with more to come, watermelon, cherries, grapes, bananas, egg plant, onion, peppers, shoes, sunglasses, clothes - used and new, pots, pans, plants (by the bunch, roots included and wrapped in newspaper) fresh cut flowers, brooms, beans, paprika, dill, walnuts, eggs, honey, and more! The joys of the open aired market! Every town should have one.

the start.

I've just started this whole thing, but I think it's about time for a place to journal my thoughts and my journeys and for you all (friends and family) to keep updated and share with me and life a little more often! Enjoy!